The president goes to OA

Hello, my name is George Bush and I am addicted to oil. I spend money on oil when, if I didn't, I could move out of the neighborhood where Hamas is celebrating and shooting off guns and making me feel not included. Well, I am moving out by 2025; so they can stop celebrating NOW! It was bad enough that my daddy moved to Texas. I don't know if you've noticed but I've gone a little native. Luckily enough, I've got enough money left over that our great imagineers can begin working on pie in the sky. And you now the great thing about democracy is that you can have any flavor you want. I know some of you, even in Texas, miss strawberry rhubarb pie. Fresh rhubarb is hard to get in Texas but when pie is delivered from the sky you will be able to get any flavor you want.

Some of you may think that I am not only addicted to oil, but also I am smoking something. Well, that brings up another subject. Many of you are concerned about illegal immigration. As you may not have noticed our policy is changing from one where we forswear, at least publicly, addictions to where we manage them. That is why my friend John McCain is introducing the marijuana and cocaine etc. liberation act. All formerly illegal aliens on bringing in the various wondrous substances and on delivering them to one of our people who freely decides to spend his or her welfare money on it, will get a note from said person and will then go to the federales of their choice and get a temporary residence permit. Voila, we succeed in everything. And whatever you're smoking I'm with you.